Funny Escape Room Quotes heard inside of Trapology Boston

Storytime with your Game Master

Many players ask our staff after their escape game, “Wait….you heard everything we were saying?”. The answer is yes, yes we heard everything during your escape game.

Albert Einstein was once allegedly asked what he would do if he were given one hour to solve a problem; he responded that he would “spend fifty-five minutes thinking about the problem and then five minutes solving it.” The ratio of minutes-thinking to minutes-solving tends to vary over the course of the hour that Trapology guests are allotted to work their way out of our puzzle-packed award-winning escape rooms. There is one thing, though, that they consistently do for all sixty minutes and that, of course, is say hilarious nonsense under the duress of extremely difficult challenges. Below are some golden examples of quotes from guests for the past month.

Funny Escape Room Quote one-liners 

  • How do you use a white board?
  • I laughed so hard I just farted… again!
  • Let’s find everything we can find!
  • Guys, we done goof’d
  • You didn’t play catch with me as a kid, so this is your fault.
  • I thought this was gonna be so much easier.
  • Dude, this is just like Fortnite.
  • Get Mom to do this one, it involves reading.
  • Everyone stop. Hang on…Are we idiots?
  • We can’t do math! Take pity on us!
  • We’re not fools. It’s just hard and we’re scared.
  • We have a minute and 28 seconds left…(face fills with despair) uh-oh.
  • Something has to do with something; and this thing definitely has to do with that thing
  • Is it my left….or the lock’s left?
  • I thought you said this was an escape ROOM! Why are there so many ROOMS?
  • See! I’m actually smarter than you think!
  • This is a nightmare, but in a good way.
  • Maybe if we lie down on the floor and look sad, they’ll give us free clues.
  • You can’t tell my son how poorly I’m doing. I’d never hear the end of it.
  • If I don’t get out, do I have to pay rent?
  • (after mysterious creaky sound) AHHHH! I’M GOING TO BREAK UP WITH YOU! (Don’t worry, he was just scared. They’re engaged now)
  • (looking at Raquel Welch poster) “She’s a Star Wars, right?”
  • (Puts bed sheet over head) “ooohh I’m a ghost”
  • (after Game Master heating up lunch) “Wow they even made it smell like a Chinese restaurant”
  • Oops, My penis fell off
  • Pam, it’s cause you pressed it into the hole!
  • Everyone start hissing! (cue snake sounds)
  • We’ve got too many hands in the pot!
  • I have the smallest hands here. Let me do the small thing.
  • (new player walks into the lobby and sees a staff member sitting at a table focused on their laptop) Wait, has the game already started?! Is this part of it?!

Best responses to Funny escape room quotes 

Person 1: It has a do not touch sticker!
Person 2: What does it mean?
Person 1: Do not touch!

Person 1: I don’t read anything.
Person 2: Well that’s why we have this problem.

Sibling 1: Fart muncher
Sibling 2: Diaper eater

Person1 and 2: YAY!
Two seconds later…
Person 2: OH NOOOOOOO

(Guest walks out room)
Staff: Is everything okay?
Person 1: Oh, I’m just farting.

Person 1: I’m too cool to ask for a hint.
Person 2: So you’re gonna be too cool to win?

Person 1: We already used that key.
Person 2: What if it’s like…a magic key?

Person 1: You’re too aggressive.
Person 2: Someone actually told me that today at a meeting.

Person 1: What about Seamen?
Person 2: Stop talking to us like that.

Person 1: Aren’t kids supposed to be able to do this?!
Person 2: Are you smarter than a 5th grader?

Person 1: Can you go first?
Person 2: You wanted to do the scary room, YOU go first!
Person 1: How about at the same time? But you in front of me!

Person 1: GUYS I FOUND A POCKETBOOK!!!
Person 2: Uhm, that’s mine….

Person 1: Wait, we can just push this latch!
Person 2: That’s the emergency exit

Weirdest things heard in Trapology Boston escape room control room 

Our awesome players aren’t the only ones with funny things you may overhear. The Trapology control room is filled with a nexus of camera monitors, complicated equipment, and highly-trained game masters. Every moment of your escape room at Trapology is made possible by the combined intellect and puzzle-smarts of our expert team. 

Truly, the level of mental discourse that goes on in our control room is comparable to that which you could overhear in a Harvard lecture hall. However, I’d like to share just a few of the iconic maxims and escape room quotes that have been uttered behind the scenes in the Trapology game master control room.

  • Espresso at 6:30pm? Damn, girl.
  • I threw a chip at my mouth and I missed.
  • I can’t wait to go home and boil some lemons.
  • Reading is for nerds. Breaking things is what all the cool kids are doing.
  • Hachi machi!
  • Sorry I keep apologizing for everything. Wait, sorry! Wait, agh!
  • My life is like an episode of that really funny show.
  • Code five!
  • Leave me alone, Dad!
  • You guys are worse than the people who stole my lunch money in high school.
  • If you don’t take my compliments well, I will fire you.

Where’s the thing that people talk into?
You mean, the phone?

If you clench all your muscles and stare at your phone, it’ll charge faster.
Yeah, but I might poop.

Einstein also had another quote: “there are two things that are infinite: the universe, and human stupidity. And I’m not so sure about the universe.” We here at Trapology like to have a little bit more faith in the intelligence of our guests, but what’s definitely infinite is the endless source of wisdom and humor they spout while waist-deep in riddles and padlocks.